Monday, June 20, 2011

The Golf War

Then I dreamt that I was playing golf with President Obama, Vice-President Biden and Speaker John Boehner and it got off to a rough start because Boehner kept slicing to the right and Obama sliced to the left and I suggested that they tee off at the same time and maybe their balls would meet in the middle, speaking of balls Anthony Weiner wasn't able to make it out on the course as he dropped his cell phone in the clubhouse shower but we went ahead without him but Biden had drunk too many mimosas at brunch and he kept driving the golf cart into trees and yelling “Take that, Al Gore!” and Obama kept giving Boehner crap about how bad the Bengals were and how the Bears were going to kick their ass and by the way how about raising the debt ceiling and Boehner hit him with a 3-wood and then mercifully the beer cart came by around that time and Obama ordered a Bud Light and the rest of us laughed and called him a pussy and so he ordered a malt liquor instead and then one of the caddies said only black people drink that and the other caddy got mad and they started fighting and rolling around on the ground and into the water hazard and they kept fighting even after I said Nancy and Sarah stop that and pretty soon everybody was fighting and threatening to filibuster if Obama insisted on using a 9-iron instead of a wedge and all was bedlam until I finally was awakened by a TV commercial with Tiger Woods demonstrating how many Las Vegas strippers he could pack into a Buick Regal...

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